Waiting for August 11th

I have a colonoscopy and endoscopy scheduled on Aug 11th. Now I get to play the waiting game.

Warning: the following paragraphs are relatively graphic in their description of my current condition.

My "good" days are long gone. My abdominal pain is increasing, and is often unbearable, even with the pain meds. It's no longer just my intestines. I have pain in the upper right quadrant, which is most likely my pancreas. The pain covers my entire left side and wraps around to my back. If I lay perfectly still, it'll reduce over an hour or so.

I was eating small meals when I first got home from my surgery. Now, I'm reduced to eating dry snacks, and most of my intake is liquids. I have vitamin deficiencies, despite taking vitamins orally, and am at risk for complications due to nutritional status. Eating is so painful that I now consume only liquids until I feel ravenously hungry, and then allow myself to eat dry cereal or rice noodles. But I feel better when I eat nothing at all. Despite taking in fluids, I have had to go to the ER twice for severe dehydration.

The pain is worst at night. Our bodies do most of their digesting at night. The hormones released by falling asleep at night activate digestive processes. These hormones are released whether you fall asleep or are kept awake by ridiculous abdominal pain. This is made worse by going to the bathroom. I am still forced to use suppositories once per day in order to excrete waste. The pain is so severe that all I can do is lay in the fetal position for an hour or more. I am supposed to give a stool sample at the hospital, and I don't have the strength to do it. I will have to do it next week on one of my better days.

The craziest part of all of this is that the GI doctor considers my condition relatively mild. This is due mostly to stable blood work - hemoglobin, clotting factors, etc. - and a lack of fevers or vomiting. But my condition is deteriorating. Sometimes I wish I would just crash so that I could be hospitalized and get these diagnostic tests done faster. Obviously, that is the worst possible option, so, for now, I'm just playing the waiting game. One day at a time.

~Alison